the movie.

i have to say i left maybe half an hour or so before the movie finished. it was that stupid. i was terrifically afraid that the movie was going to tell me that love is a valid physics concept, stronger than gravity and time and space and all. i didn’t think i could bear that much stupid, so i left.

i don’t go to sf movies for an education–hollywood has long since given up on anything that might have a whiff of intellectual. if there are more than two brains in hollywood functioning on more than one hungover neuron, it would undoubtedly make a huge splash on io9, at least. but i also don’t go to sf movies to have my intelligence insulted, and that’s exactly what this movie does.

apparently Earth has gotten sick of us and is trying to kill us (if only in an offhand way). blights are killing off crops and people are starving. hey hollywood! science actually has an answer to this: stop monoculture farming. and yet these folk are monoculturing up fields of corn up the wazoo.

so, Earth is pissed off. schools are teaching that the whole moon trip was a psyop to make Russia go broke. corn is in danger. atmospheric nitrogen levels are rising, which eventually will “suffocate” us all.

meanwhile, one tiny little NASA remnant is plotting our escape. black hole appears, leading to an unmapped galaxy that appears to contain inhabitable planets. yippee! aim for the black hole and get out of Dodge. if only Our Hero will pilot the ship off the planet, leaving his two children behind with little real hope of reunion because relativity.

the movie goes to some pains to explain relativity to us, forgetting to mention that gravitational forces inside a black hole would crush our hero and ship to something a great deal smaller than a matchbox.

so hero-daddy leaves little girl behind and zooms off to Save Humanity. and it just gets stupider and stupider from there.

this movie actually pissed me off. it’s one thing to throw in a macguffin or two that allows you to sidestep science, it’s another altogether to just open up the fucking spaceship wing window and toss science out. i am disgusted.

it’s no wonder the oil companies can still stir up doubt about climate change. americans have gotten unbelievably stupid about science over the years. whose agenda that serves i have no idea, but i do remember a time when we were as a nation proud of our science and what we could learn and do. i remember watching the moon landings, and feeling totally boo-ya that We Did That. even though i have never had a mind suited to hard science and don’t claim to, figuring out the diff between evidence and bullshit, between the scientific method and a magical thinking, is not beyond my capacity.

so, hollywood: fuck you. i want my 10 bucks back, and i want it with an apology for the insult to every uneducated cretin in that audience. put some fucking science back in your science fiction, or stop making it, because you don’t get to make a whore of science to flog your own inability to understand its basic tenets.

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